*sigh* well well
i'm currently kinda frustrated (again) :
i seriously started to hate my granma. she's always been strange but since my grandpa died this summer she is even more psycho (like depressions etc. )
that's why i had to go with her on holidays to swiss this fall break. that week was a torture >_> .
my mum said "she just needs something to take her mind off what happened". so i went with her.

and now my mum came up with the idea that she, my dad and my grandma would fly to turkey during christmas vacation for about 10 days. i'm supposed to stay at home and look after the cat etc..

well i don't know what to think about it because on the one hand of course i think it's pretty unfair to leave me all alone on christmas and on new year's eve. i don't know if that sounds egoistic because on the other hand my grandma is going through a really hard time plus i think seeing the places she went to years ago would do her good.

so i'm like of two minds abot that thing...

my mum also asked me first if that would be ok for me to be all alone that week. so as i've just wrote, i didn't know what to think about it and i eventually agreed so now the tickets are bought.


the point is, recently i feel uncomfortable an left alone. i cant tell why but i'm feeling like losing contact to ppl

not a nice feeling..